The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
