Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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