Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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