this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
