My room smells like vodka and shame
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The power of my boobs compel you
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
