Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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