i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
