I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
