I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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