You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
