Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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