Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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