I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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