he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
