So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
