Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
