What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
