Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
