I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
