sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He better not be in your backpack
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
