thus making me awesome and them whores
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
