just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
