it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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