PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
