whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
