Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
