oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
