i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
