Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize