Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
