walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She announced her abortion via fbk
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize