note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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