and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
