I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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