After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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