I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
