Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You took a bar mat shot.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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