winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
