Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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