There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
