I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
