tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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