5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
