I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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