Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
