does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
