Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
