Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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