I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
