she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
